musingsiren:

of course feel free to change pronouns as necessary. and yes, these are actual things i have heard / said

• “Your 2 year old kid is tanner than me”
  
• “YEAH!! FUCK THE CORPORATION!! STICK IT TO THE MAN!! DONT LET YOURSELF BE TETHERED BY THE CHAINS OF CAPITALISM ANY MORE!!“ 
  
• “Are you rapping in French?!”
  
• “Don’t tell dad I just did that.”
  
• *gives you puppy eyes while holding a mango*
  
• “I hat him so much. LOOK, that’s how much I hate that character, I can’t even type right.”
  
• “ACCEPT MY AFFECTION YOU ASSHOLE”
  
• “I liked making jokes about being a corporate sell out.”
  
• “Generally people say ‘bless you’ when I sneeze but, sure, ‘ew’ works too”
  
• “You think this is a game, mom?”
  
• “Wow, you have surprisingly good hand writing”
  
• “It’s bad man… I have a pair of socks that remind me of him.”
  
• “I’m getting a headache and that’s not good”
  
• “If I hear the name Kardashian one more time I’m going to flip my shit”
  
• “Is the tea okay??”
  
• “Get in the bush”
  
• “[name], do NOT dance”
  
• (Sadly) “he’s a waffle”
  
• “I will never die. I AM DEATH”
  
• “[name]’s in a permanent mid-life crisis”
  
• “Oh god, it depresses me when people eat pizza with a fork and knife.”
  
• “I just quacked at them loudly" 
  
• “No, you should take the last one”
  
• “Fuck you and your goldfish" 
  
• “To tall people we short ones still look human so we are probably creepy fetuses crawling amongst them while they scream ‘’ANOTHER ESCAPED THE WOMB’ " 
  

rp-memes:

☁- Our muses in a thunderstorm.

✿- Our muses in a garden.

♫- Our muses at a concert.

☏- One of the muses giving the other a prank call.

★- Our muses looking at the stars.

†- Our muses in a church.

☤- One of our muse’s is hurt.

❤- Our muses are both alone on valentine’s day.

☢- Our muses during a radioactive breakout.

☠- One of our muse’s died, and the other is at the grave. (possibly ghost or drabble)

✈- Our muses on a plane.

▲- Our muses on an elevator. 

▼- Our muses in a broken elevator.

startersofroleplay:

Skype Call Starters (Compilation)

_{This is a compilation post of this post and this post, in this format rather than in chat format.}

• “A dog is more articulate than that sentence.”
  
• “And today and three thirty in the morning, we ask ourselves, what is a pea?”
  
• “Bacon is a god send.”
  
• “Calm your tit windows bros!”
  
• “Can I have a small atomic bomb?”
  
• “Cigarette cancer.”
  
• “Come eat my soul, please, for the love of god.”
  
• “Did that just say babysit the bird?”
  
• “Did you SERIOUSLY just word it like that?”
  
• “Did you just get swallowed by another dimension, what the fuck?”
  

• “eASY.”

• “geT OFF MY DS.”

• “Goodbye. It’s coming after my soul.”
  
• “HA. I’VE GOT YOU NOW. FUCK YOU!”
  
• “He lives to see another day, I guess.”
  
• “He spoke Spench. A mix between Spanish and French.”
  
• “Honey if your vagina’s a taco you need to go to the hospital.”
  
• “I BURPED HOLY SHIT.”
  
• “I can do it after I’m done killing people!”
  
• “I don’t wanna fuckin’ do this, man.”
  
• “I need to tell the secetary that I’m speaking Spench today because I can’t join the MMMM.”
  
• “I never understood deez nuts.”
  
• “I went clothes shopping and then the cops.”
  
• “I’m gonna do what I do best and fuck off into the mountains.”
  
• “If I get another one of these from a legendary gun I’m going out and killing someone for real.”
  
• “If you’re gonna be awake and bitching you might as well do something useful.”
  
• “It’s like a bird and a siren had a baby.”
  
• “It’s not what I would consider a mistake, but it’s not cute.”
  
• “MISSLE.”
  
• “My boyfriend dumped me I’m gonna nuke Japan.”
  
• “No one gives a shit.”
  
• “Nuclear explosion. Suddenly: Aurora Borealis!”
  
• “Oh my god this is the ugliest thing. I’m wearing it.”
  
• “Oooh this is bad I’m standing on a roll-y chair.”
  
• “Oooh, I hit you hard, didn’t I?”
  
• “Rub your own toe!”
  
• “Satan had enough screaming for one day.”
  
• “Satan is back in the household.”
  
• “Satan left.”
  
• “Shut up about tastebuds you burned those off!”
  
• “Speaking of Irish–”
  
• “That guy who faked his death didn’t die.”
  
• “That’s a volleyball you uncultured swine.”
  
• “The Americans don’t exist any more.”
  

• “theRE YOU ARE, YOU MOTHERFUCKER.”

• “These cats just turned into noodles.”
  
• “This little bitch in pre-school–”
  
• “This little fucker is eluding me.”
  
• “UH YOU’RE FLOATING.”
  
• “Wanna eat a bug?”
  
• “We all need our ass kicked once in a while.”
  
• “We don’t care about a pig’s ass!”
  
• “What’s up sluts, guess who just got out of Hoenn?”
  
• “Why have Obamacare when you can have Obama Hair?”
  
• “Yay we won guess who did all the work. Me. I did.”
  
• “Yeah I’m evaporating.”
  
• “You just cannot talk, can you?”
  
• “You will not be flipping people off while we do explicit things.”
  
• “You’ve all heard of the birds and the bees, but have you heard of the birds and the babies?”

turnonthe8-track:

based on 

yourmusings:

• “I thought I could trust you!”
  
• “I should’ve known.”
  
• “Are you just going to leave me here?!”
  
• “Where are you going?”
  
• “Why did you do this?”
• “Don’t. I don’t need to hear your pathetic excuses anymore.”
  
• “You can still do the right thing!”
  
• “You knew about this all along, didn’t you?”
  
• “I will remember this…”
  
• “I thought we were friends!”
  
• “Please let’s just go back, please.”
• “This is a joke, right? Right?”
  
• “What are you doing? What…?
  
• “I still believe there is a good person in you.”
  

• “It was necessary.”
  
• “Did you really think I cared about you?”
  
• “This was my plan all along.”
  
• “There was no other way.”
  
• “How cute. Struggle all you want, you won’t be leaving this place.”
  
• “This is what you get from trusting me.”
  
• “It’s too late to go back.”
  
• “I’m sorry this had to go down like this.”
  
• “That’s right, I lied.”
• “It’s all for a good cause.”
  
• “You were so stupid. You should’ve known.”
  
• “Just so you know.. I don’t regret anything.”
• “Shame. I kind of liked you.”
• “This is my responsibility.” 
  

sidestuiff:

• ♥ : A small child (age 3 – 5)
• ♦ : A young child (age 7 – 9)
• ♣ : A preteen (age 10 – 12)
• ♠ : A young teen (13 – 16)
• ☺ : An older teen (17 – 19)
• ☻ : An adult (22 – 29)
• ◘ : An elderly person (60+)

rp-memes:

☁- Our muses in a thunderstorm.

✿- Our muses in a garden.

♫- Our muses at a concert.

☏- One of the muses giving the other a prank call.

★- Our muses looking at the stars.

†- Our muses in a church.

☤- One of our muse’s is hurt.

❤- Our muses are both alone on valentine’s day.

☢- Our muses during a radioactive breakout.

☠- One of our muse’s died, and the other is at the grave. (possibly ghost or drabble)

✈- Our muses on a plane.

▲- Our muses on an elevator. 

▼- Our muses in a broken elevator.

there-is-blood-on-my-hands:

• You can’t fight me, you’re miniature.
• Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
• People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
• Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
• Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
• I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do.
• You know, it only takes four muscles to just extend your arm and bitchslap the twat.
• Congratulations on being an awful bitch who’s completely oblivious to the fact that everyone hates you.
• Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
• My business isn’t your business; so unless you’re my thong, don’t be up my arse.
• I may look calm, but in my head I’ve killed you three times already.
• I would retaliate against your snotty remark, but since you resemble a garden gnome, I’d say the joke is on you.
• I thought I saw your face on my newsfeed but it turns out it was just a picture of a potato.
• You want to walk out of my life, there’s the door. Hell, I’ll even hold it open for you.
• I don’t do fashion, I am fashion.
• Somewhere out there there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breath. I think you owe it an apology.
• I’m only single because I’m too sassy for everyone.
• Bitch please, have you seen me? I’m a princess.
• I think, therefore I’m single.
• Life’s too short to bullshit.
• If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
• When in doubt, freak ‘em out.
• I’d rather die my way than live yours.
• Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
• Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.
• I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
• Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
• Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
• I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
• If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

lafemme-rouge:

Below you will find quotes taken directly or paraphrased
from the movie 'Labyrinth'. You know, the one starring 
David Bowie's bulge. Send in one of the following to see
how my muse reacts:

• _{❝ I ask for so little. ❞}
• _{❝ Just let me rule you, and you can have everything that you want. ❞}
• _{❝ Just fear me, love me – do as I say and I will be your slave.❞}
• _{❝ You remind me of the babe. ❞}
• _{❝ That’s not fair! ❞}
• _{❝ Give me the child. ❞}
• _{❝ You say that so often, I wonder what your basis for comparison is? ❞}
• _{❝ I have been generous up ‘til now; I can be cruel. ❞}
• _{❝ You cowered before me, I was frightening. ❞}
• _{❝ I have reordered time; I have turned this world upside down, and I have done it all for you! ❞}
• _{❝ I am exhausted from living up to your expectations. ❞}
• _{❝ Isn’t that generous? ❞}
• _{❝ Your mother is a fraggin’ aardvark! ❞}
• _{❝ Everything I’ve done, I’ve done for you. ❞}
• _{❝ I move the stars for no one. ❞}
• _{❝ Your eyes can be so cruel. ❞}
• _{❝ If she ever kisses you, I’ll turn you into a prince. ❞}
• _{❝ If he ever kisses you, I’ll turn you into a princess. ❞}
• _{❝ You’re him, aren’t you? ❞}
• _{❝ You’re her, aren’t you? ❞}
• _{❝ My will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom as great. ❞}
• _{❝ You have no power over me. ❞}
• _{❝ How you turn my world, you precious thing. ❞}
• _{❝ Well then, come on, which way? ❞}
• _{❝ Which way do you want to go, hm? ❞}
• _{❝ Was that wrong? ❞}
• _{❝ I’ve brought you a gift. ❞}
• _{❝ But if you turn it this way and look into it, it will show you your dreams. ❞}
• _{❝ In nine hours and twenty-three minutes…you’ll be mine. ❞}
• _{❝ Where you goin’ with a head like that? ❞}
• _{❝ No, I said ‘allo’, but that’s close enough. ❞}
• _{❝ It’s only forever, not long at all. ❞}
• _{❝ All right then, throw down your weapons, and I’ll see that you’re well-treated. ❞}
• _{❝ Don’t tell me truth hurts, because it hurts like hell. ❞}
• _{❝ No one can blame you for walking away. ❞}
• _{❝ I don’t know why, but every now and again in my life – for no reason at all – I need you. ❞}
• _{❝ The way forward is sometimes the way back. ❞}
• _{❝ It’s very rude to stare! ❞}
• _{❝ What did you have to go and do a thing like that for? ❞}
• _{❝ What’d you expect fairies to do? ❞}
• _{❝ What’s the matter, my dear, don’t like your toys? ❞}
• _{❝ There’s such a sad love, deep in your eyes. ❞}
• _{❝ I’ll place the sky within your eyes. ❞}
• _{❝ What kind of magic spell to use? ❞}
• _{❝ I’ll paint you mornings of gold. ❞}
• _{❝ I’ll spin you Valentine evenings. ❞}
• _{❝ I’ll be there for you as the world falls down. ❞}
• _{❝ We’re choosing the path between the stars. ❞}
• _{❝ I’ll leave my love between the stars. ❞}
• _{❝ How you turned my world, you precious thing. ❞}
• _{❝ You starve and near exhaust me. ❞}
• _{❝ I do believe in you. ❞}
• _{❝ I live without the sunlight. ❞}
• _{❝ I love without your heartbeat. ❞}
• _{❝ I can’t live within you. ❞}

there-is-blood-on-my-hands:

• You can’t fight me, you’re miniature.
• Going to McDonalds for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug.
• People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
• Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.
• Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
• I hope karma slaps you in the face before I do.
• You know, it only takes four muscles to just extend your arm and bitchslap the twat.
• Congratulations on being an awful bitch who’s completely oblivious to the fact that everyone hates you.
• Wine is constant proof that God loves us and loves to see us happy.
• My business isn’t your business; so unless you’re my thong, don’t be up my arse.
• I may look calm, but in my head I’ve killed you three times already.
• I would retaliate against your snotty remark, but since you resemble a garden gnome, I’d say the joke is on you.
• I thought I saw your face on my newsfeed but it turns out it was just a picture of a potato.
• You want to walk out of my life, there’s the door. Hell, I’ll even hold it open for you.
• I don’t do fashion, I am fashion.
• Somewhere out there there is a tree, tirelessly producing oxygen so you can breath. I think you owe it an apology.
• I’m only single because I’m too sassy for everyone.
• Bitch please, have you seen me? I’m a princess.
• I think, therefore I’m single.
• Life’s too short to bullshit.
• If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.
• When in doubt, freak ‘em out.
• I’d rather die my way than live yours.
• Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
• Two wrongs don’t make a right, but they make a good excuse.
• I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
• Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
• Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
• I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.
• If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.