I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.
They were expecting military resistance. They weren’t counting on bears.
Imagine coming to a hostile alien world and being attacked by a horde of creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons, run at 30 km/h (19 mph), and bite with a force of 8,100 newtons (1,800 lbf).
By the time you realise that they can traverse water, it’s too late. The surviving members of your unit manage to make it back by shedding their excess gear and running for their lives; the slower ones were crushed to death within minutes.
You later describe the creature to one of the humans you captured, wanting to know the name of the monstrosity that will haunt your nightmares for cycles to come.
The human smiles as it speaks a single word, slowly and distinctly, in its barbaric tongue.
“Hippopotamus.”
This is giving me the biggest, creepiest grin I might have ever grinned
Imagine being the next crew to go down to earth and thinking “it’s fine, we got this. We have the weapons and equipment necessary to deal with bears and *shudders* hippopotamuses. We’ll be fine.”
And at first you are, you’ve learned how to dodge. You’ve learned where their territories are. You know how to defend yourself.
But then one night you are sleeping in your shelter. You’re in a tree covered temperate part of earth. It seems benign. There are been no sightings of the dreaded “hippos” around. Not even any bears. But there is a slight rustle of the undergrowth. You try and ignore it telling yourself it is just the wind.
Then you hear the rustle again. closer this time.
You peer out into the darkness but see nothing amongst the trees.
The rustle again and now you realise you can smell something. It’s musky and slightly foul. It’s the smell of an omen, a warning. But what of? Where is this smell coming from.
You sit up, but it’s too late. The foul smelling creature is on you. You are hit with 17kg of coarse fur and vicious bites. Long dark claws tear in to you and you are pinned down white the striped creature tries to bite your throat.
It takes some doing but you manage to wrestle free. Blood drips from your wounds and already they itch with the sign of infection. The creature has a bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with the black and white hairs. It lets out a terrifying growl from the back of its throat and looks to attack again. It’s between you and your knife, so your only choice is to back away.
Eventually the creature gives up and snuffles off in to the undergrowth, down a hole near your shelter you hadn’t noticed before.
When you make it back to your base you once again consult the captive human.
“Badger.” they say, with a solemn nod.
One word: Moose
“Our vehicles are far superior to the local human models, in range, speed, armament, and any other metric you care to name! Nothing could possibly-”
BAMrumblerumblethumpcrash!!!
“That’s called a moose.”
“We should be free of the threat of the ‘moose’ here on our new floating accommodation”
*humans start sniggering*
“… they can swim, can’t they”
*humans start laughing louder*
….
*mid-winter*
‘I DON’T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED! K’T’SURKIK WENT OUTSIDE AND A MOUND OF SNOW ROSE UP AND ATE HIM’
“What is this ‘wolverine’ you speak of?”
Tell me the story of the unpleasantly surprised alien invaders and their captive human remnant, getting more smug the more the aliens fail at basic scouting…
I know we’re all talking the big smash-‘em-up type animals, but what about the little ones? Are aliens prepared for spiders? Mosquitoes? Fleas? Ticks? Even humans get sick or die from some of those, who knows what the fuck they’d do to an unprepared alien.
Nobody expects the mosquitoes
Radio: “We seem to have located a colony-based life form. Primary scans seem to indicate that their dwelling consists mainly of wax and a calorically high substance suitable for our consumption. Since food reserves are minimal due the nature of this mission, we’ve elected to attempt harvest. Requesting that alpha base interrogate the captives as to the nature of this find.”
“Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“
Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG.
Holy shit
This is…a cinematic experience
Quicksilver is freaking awesome. But can we also take a moment to appreciate how smart he has to be. This guy has to be a physics genius (in some parts of physics at least). Whether he knows the calculations or not he has to be. If you gave him math or physics problems that were here is the situation now demonstrate he’d get a 100%. He gets on the scene and the first thing he does is figure out what debris will reach the others before he gets back then calculate the trajectory of it and moves the ones that would hit/kill those before he could reach them. Then you have him throwing people into sheets and pools which is calculating the force needed for each individual person of varying weights he doesn’t know. Then it is also calculating the angle for the right trajectory. Honestly I want a scene where Beast is talking about something advance and Quicksilver just gives an answer like it isn’t a big deal. And if he doesn’t see these calculations like we are taught in school and does it more on an instinct without numbers than actual numbers then I want them to be in a situation where Beast is talking about the complexity of the calculations needed to figure this out and how exact it will be needed in while Quicksilver just runs out and does it because he has been unconsciously doing it ever since he gained control of his powers.
And after all that he is so caring. HE SAVES THE GOLDFISH. He saves the dog to but everyone cares about the dog. Few care about the fish and he is like every living thing I see I’ll save. And I’ll even take a microsecond or two (which is a long time for me) to help those socially that seem to need it. Like you need a cool hairstyle. Let’s give it to you. And he isn’t arrogant about it.
One thing that hasnt hit me until quite recently…..
You know how we can basically SEE right through Megamind how much he loves Roxanne and how deeply he cares for her and wants her affection? Sometimes it has felt like we’ve penetrated THAT into the storyline. That we were the ones to just somehow add on to the story that he’s always been crazy head over heels for her from the moment they first met.
But, then quite recently, it has struck my ears that he fucking VOICES out and admits that (Roxanne is the girl of my dreams) Like, the girl he’s ever wanted, and the girl he’d do anything for.
“My chest hurts a lot. It’s probably nothing. Not like I could afford to go see a doctor anyway…”
“My teeth are like literally rotting out of my head. I wish I could see a dentist. It’s just too much money, you know?”
“I wish I could afford new glasses. Everything’s so blurry and it sucks.”
“I been sick for days. I think I might go to Urgent Care, but I don’t know. It’s expensive..”
“I feel awful. I wish I could go home. Too bad I need these hours.”
“I can’t afford to be sick.”
“I’ve been off my meds for months. I just can’t afford them right now.”
“I just glued my glasses back together. I can’t afford a new pair.”
“I really hope I get promoted. Then I can get health insurance through the company, I haven’t seen a doctor in years.”
How much longer does this have to go on before the government realises that its young people are practically DYING because we can’t afford medical care. When is enough going to be enough?
RP backup 
