“Sorry, sorry,” Syx sighed, accepting the outstretched hand. The skin contact more soothing than any words could be, “I just don’t want to lose… I… I never knew how to handle Wayne’s jealousy. I don’t want to go through that again. Fuck, I overreacted,” he closed his eyes, feeling like an idiot and a fool.
“I mean, of course, we need to talk about this,” he took a deep breath and tried to settle his head and heart, “We really do. Boundaries. Rules. We both need them… for this,” he felt so lost.
“My girlfriend is a shapeshifter who started living with me because she lost her memory and still hasn’t gotten it back and Wayne kept me a secret,” he admitted bluntly, “Quite literally my only frame of reference for normal relationships is tv and I learned the hard way how unrealistic that is as a reference. Not that this counts as normal anyway. I’ve just been… trying to follow your lead and hoped you knew what this was supposed to be.”
Harrison wished he could pull Syx in close, cuddle up to him. Somehow he felt this would all go better if there were no clothes, no tables, no bowls of soup between them. If they were kissing and pressed bare blue skin to skin. But for now, he squeezes Syx’s hand in his own, letting his thumb stroke rhythmically across the other man’s blue hand.
“I don’t want to lose you either. Quite the opposite actually. The longer I know you, the more I want…. more,” Harrison confessed, looking deep into Syx’s eyes. “Don’t get me wrong, I love the kinky sex talk, but I’m not looking for a 24/7 dom. I want….. you. I want to watch movies, go out, or just cuddle on the couch. And I can’t say I’m not a little jealous of this Anna but you’re right, I’m married so I’m not making any claim of exclusivity on you. I know you’re not built for it and clearly neither am I. I know you have other lovers though I’m if I’m being perfectly honest, I’m glad your Wayne isn’t one of them. He didn’t treat you the way you deserve.”
Now he covers Syx’s hand with both of his, so his companion will feel the sincerity behind his words. He’s not sure he’s doing a particularly good job explaining things, but he at least needs to try.
“I don’t know what I’m doing either. I know my Wayne has been very understanding, and he views you as a sex partner that he hopes will become a friend. But I look at you…..” He smiles, taking in the sight of Syx’s worried face and wishing he could kiss those worry lines away. “I want to be a part of your life and have you be a part of mine.
I want you to meet my son. More than just sex but…. a real relationship. If that’s what you want?”
Now it’s his turn to look across the table and squeeze Syx’s hands with nervous anticipation.
Threading his fingers with Harrison’s, Syx nodded earnestly, “Do do want that,” he laughed, “It wasn’t until all this insanity started that I realized just how desperately I need that. And I do want all of those soft moments with you.”
Squeezing the blue fingers in his, he added, “Not that you make it easy to think about anything but sex sometimes,” he bit his lower lip, “Pure sex in a suit.”
Leaning forward awkwardly over the table, he kissed Harrison’s knuckles, “I’m really glad to hear that you don’t want a full-time dom?” he chuckled, “I could never keep that up. I like it like my costume? Something I can take on and off,’ He squeezed Harrison’s fingers, looking into his eyes, “I want to meet your son, watch my favorite cheezy movies with you, I want you to meet Anna. English feels ridiculously limited to describe the things I feel, but I do want you to be a part of my life. All of it. Not just the sex,” he rolled a shoulder and grinned, “Though I most certainly want that too.”
RP backup 