Wrong Number is Gay

singinghands:

syx-blue:

[TXT] M is a mama fish, yea

[TXT] he’s pretty one of a kind

[TXT] noodle! is he spaghetti? little pile o spaghetti noodle? 👀

[Text] So you are one of them right?

[Text] Seems like everyone is around here.

[Text] When he’s feeling lazy, he is!

[Photo]

[TXT] I’m not one of anything! I’m one of a kind!

[TXT] okay maybe not totally anymore but no one is as fucking sick ass as me. Im a magical glitter phenomenon!!!

[TXT] omg he’s an adorable lazy noodle

starters from a group chat full of wild, loud-mouthed lesbians and bi girls. (some nsfw)

biologicalengineer:

  • “(they/we) can eat each other out and see who comes first. wholesome.”
  • “i haven’t been innocent since i was 8 years old and saw the word pussy while looking for dora the explorer online.”
  • “i am ready to catch the lesbian tension.”
  • “funny story: i once avoided getting arrested by flirting with the cops.”
  • “meanwhile, when she moans, it’s only because the chocolate is melting in her mouth.”
  • “that’s the way to my heart: bdsm and falling incredibly short of expectations.”
  • “pop rocks + vagina = yeast infection.”
  • “who sleeps in a ponytail you masochistic freak?”
  • “i’ll date anyone who pays attention to me.”
  • “as gays, we deserve this.”
  • “i think i’m going to actually try and sleep. there’s only so much of myself i can handle.”
  • “i’m eating vegan ice cream in my nasty woman hoodie.”
  • “i’m a slytherin; i have to dismantle his life behind the scenes.”
  • “if you’re lucky, you’ll get arrested first.”
  • “you can’t kinkshame me; i’m the kinkshaming master.”
  • “it’s either because (they/she/you) are/is too much of a hoe or too overprotective.”
  • “you are generally good for one or two things.”
  • “you eat dick for breakfast.”
  • “this straight girl keeps trying to kiss me. help.”
  • “she lives so far up my ass, she bought property.”
  • “this is why i don’t fight people. i just yell about them to my friends.”
  • “number one problem with straight people: the fact that they say you’re drawn to men who are like your father.”
  • “i didn’t go to therapy for six years to be nice!”
  • “at least none of us had terf bangs.”
  • “(they/she/he/i/you) are/is competitive in war and in bed.”
  • “i’m not sure what enticement i can offer besides unconditional love and support.”

text message starters pt. 1

[ text; ] this is a terrible idea
[ text; ] fuCK you f*ck your cartoon hotdog husband fuck his stupid sunglasses and FUCK the ketchup kids (and fuck THEIR sunglasses)
[ text; ] i need help.
[ text; ] i don’ t know wh a t to fuckign do w i th myself a nymo re
[ text; ] i got a dog!!!!! I GOT A DOG!!!!
[ text; ] please let me come over and pet your dog?
[ text; ] anyway i’m bleeding, like, really badly. no worries though i’m good
[ text; ] i love death and dying
[ text; ] i fucked up. i fucked up really badly.
[ text; ] I BROKE EVERYTHING
[ text; ] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[ text; ] don’t freak out but i’m in the hospital.
[ text; ] leave me alone.
[ text; ] i said not to talk to me.
[ text; ] QUICK WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SONG
[ text; ] some-
[ text; ] this might be the last text i ever send you.
[ text; ] i’m going to do it.
[ text; ] i’m sorry.
[ text; ] fCUK I PUNCHED MYSELF I NTHE FACE
[ text; ] i’m playing club penguin and you wouldn’t believe the shit these 9 year olds are saying to me
[ text; ] you okay?
[ text; ] i’m so worried please text back please please please
[ text; ] ‘i don’t drink coffee,’ i say, before chugging an entire pot of it
[ text; ] what would happen if i just, like, downed seven five-hour energies. does that equal 35 hours of energy
[ text; ] brb, descending into hell.
[ text; ] it’s 3 am and i can’t sleep
[ text; ] GO TO BED!!!!!!!!

text message starters pt. 1

[ text; ] this is a terrible idea
[ text; ] fuCK you f*ck your cartoon hotdog husband fuck his stupid sunglasses and FUCK the ketchup kids (and fuck THEIR sunglasses)
[ text; ] i need help.
[ text; ] i don’ t know wh a t to fuckign do w i th myself a nymo re
[ text; ] i got a dog!!!!! I GOT A DOG!!!!
[ text; ] please let me come over and pet your dog?
[ text; ] anyway i’m bleeding, like, really badly. no worries though i’m good
[ text; ] i love death and dying
[ text; ] i fucked up. i fucked up really badly.
[ text; ] I BROKE EVERYTHING
[ text; ] AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[ text; ] don’t freak out but i’m in the hospital.
[ text; ] leave me alone.
[ text; ] i said not to talk to me.
[ text; ] QUICK WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL SONG
[ text; ] some-
[ text; ] this might be the last text i ever send you.
[ text; ] i’m going to do it.
[ text; ] i’m sorry.
[ text; ] fCUK I PUNCHED MYSELF I NTHE FACE
[ text; ] i’m playing club penguin and you wouldn’t believe the shit these 9 year olds are saying to me
[ text; ] you okay?
[ text; ] i’m so worried please text back please please please
[ text; ] ‘i don’t drink coffee,’ i say, before chugging an entire pot of it
[ text; ] what would happen if i just, like, downed seven five-hour energies. does that equal 35 hours of energy
[ text; ] brb, descending into hell.
[ text; ] it’s 3 am and i can’t sleep
[ text; ] GO TO BED!!!!!!!!

coxgitando:

Shipping Call – Send me one if you want to plot one or more of these

💚 – friendship
💙 – kinship ( blood or symbolic familial bond )
💔 – past relationship
💜 – hateship ( they hate each other but can’t stay away )
💛 – hateship ( enemies )
💟 – friends with benefits
❤ – romantic relationship

coxgitando:

Shipping Call – Send me one if you want to plot one or more of these

💚 – friendship
💙 – kinship ( blood or symbolic familial bond )
💔 – past relationship
💜 – hateship ( they hate each other but can’t stay away )
💛 – hateship ( enemies )
💟 – friends with benefits
❤ – romantic relationship