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Syx let out a soft bark of a laugh, “Never again. I promised Minion that too.”

Syx chewed his lip, “I know self destructive all to well. There really isn’t anything smart about finding the biggest guy in the prison yard and gut punching him until the day you don’t end up in the infirmary,” he’d honestly been surprised the day he’d won. Skinny and wiry thing he was, especially back at twenty-two. 

Leaning back so he could look at Harrison he ran his fingers over cheeks and jaw, feeling his heart resonate with his man, “I do hope you understand I’m never letting you go,” he took up Harrison’s hand and pressed it over his heart, “You have a home here now,” claiming his lips softly, they could be broken and healing together, “Mine. Whenever I can have you. Whenever I can steal you, share you. Still mine.”

“Steal me?  What a villain you are,” Harrison replied teasingly, then returns the soft kiss.  This man was quickly finding a place in his heart as well.  Even if Wayne wasn’t interested in a three-way, Harrison wanted to still find a way to be close to him.  He was so damaged, but maybe Harrison could help him heal in his own way.  And something about the possessive way this man said ‘mine’ made Harrison long to see just how far Syx would take it.  

Finally their lips parted, and Harrison chuckled.  “This was certainly not how I expected spending the afternoon.  I was just hoping to find a new watch.”  

Syx couldn’t help but break out into laughter, “Oh this was certainly not in today’s agenda,” he cocks his head at Harrison and raised a sculpted eyebrow, “Were you seriously going to buy that diamond coated thing? It was horrendous.”

This from a man who did not understand the meaning of too many spikes. He pursed his lips and smoothed his hands over Harrison’s chest. His mind working away at ways he might claim the man in the future. He was well aware that the man’s mate came first, but he was going to push as far as he could. He loved to leave marks, to have marks made on him. Something permanent on that blue skin would be heavenly.

dark-blue-mondays:

syx-blue:

Syx knew the story ended happily, he knew it did, he’d already seen the baby photos. Oh he felt that pain though. Knew so very much what it was to feel like you didn’t deserve your happiness. He wrapped his arms around Harrison, pulling the man tightly against him, rubbing their foreheads together as had been done to him earlier, “It hurts. Oh god I know.”

Pressing soft kisses to his forehead Syx asked, “Why did he stop?”

He hadn’t, when it had been him in that state of mind. The only reason he was alive was because Warden found him, laying in his own blood. He’d been so close to death. But there was no way the man in his arms would have survived that fall, blue or not.

“Minion caught me,” Harrison confided.  “Before I could actually jump.  Scared the hell out of him, and of me once I sobered up.”  He licked his lips dryly.  “I promised him never again.  And I got sober.  Wayne was willing to take me back, thank god, but we slowed down to a snails pace.  Not that I blame him after what I did, but it took months to earn back his trust.”  

“And there were a few relapses– times I got emotional and drank too much and did stupid self-destructive things.  But I haven’t drank like that in almost four years.  We got married and last year we started working on having children of our own.  Devin was born in April.”  He let out a deep breath, enjoying the press of forehead against forehead.  “We all have scars.  But only some of them are the kind you can see.”

Syx let out a soft bark of a laugh, “Never again. I promised Minion that too.”

Syx chewed his lip, “I know self destructive all to well. There really isn’t anything smart about finding the biggest guy in the prison yard and gut punching him until the day you don’t end up in the infirmary,” he’d honestly been surprised the day he’d won. Skinny and wiry thing he was, especially back at twenty-two. 

Leaning back so he could look at Harrison he ran his fingers over cheeks and jaw, feeling his heart resonate with his man, “I do hope you understand I’m never letting you go,” he took up Harrison’s hand and pressed it over his heart, “You have a home here now,” claiming his lips softly, they could be broken and healing together, “Mine. Whenever I can have you. Whenever I can steal you, share you. Still mine.”

dark-blue-mondays:

syx-blue:

The way Harrison told the story reminded Syx that the other blue man was a dad. He listened quietly as Harrison spoke, slowly stirring to rub his head against the other man. In many ways he was everything Syx hated. A powerful and rich man with more money then was reasonable. Yet his heart hurt for him. It sounded lonely. Lonelier then Syx’s life even with the long stays in solitary and the hard cruelty of his early years. The Blues were family and good to him.

He didn’t speak, but instead pressed a kiss to Harrison’s neck before lifting his head again enough to put their foreheads together, focusing on love and trust. He’d bared himself to this man and hadn’t been hurt. His arms were a safe place. He hoped Harrison could feel the same.

“One day the blue man moved to Metro City and met a hero.  He was funny and sweet and bashful and an alien just like him.  He’d never met another alien before, unlike the other blue men he would meet.  The hero wanted to take things slow and that was new for the blue man.  But they went to dinner and the hero took him flying and gave him sweet hopeful kisses.  So the blue man let himself believe that maybe this time, things would be different.”  Harrison could feel his eyes getting a bit moist, but he blinked it away.  

“Until one day, one of those one night stands showed up on his door and told him that she was pregnant.  The blue man didn’t know what to do.  He had a wonderful hero who he was starting to fall in love with, but a child would mean he wasn’t the last of his kind any more.  The more understanding the hero was, the more the blue man felt like he didn’t deserve him.  So he broke up with him in the worst way, over the phone, because he was a coward.  He knew it was only a matter of time before the hero left him anyway and this way, he could save himself future hurt using his baby as an excuse.  He tried so very hard to be happy with this woman and their coming child…. until one day she miscarried.  And then he was even more alone.”

“He started to drink.  She left.  He drank some more.  And one night he was drunk standing out on the terrace of this ridiculously overpriced 26th floor penthouse and all he could think about was what he had lost.  He’d had love and he’d thrown it away.  He’d had a child but now that was gone.  And now all he wanted to do was fly one last time.”

Syx knew the story ended happily, he knew it did, he’d already seen the baby photos. Oh he felt that pain though. Knew so very much what it was to feel like you didn’t deserve your happiness and push people away. He wrapped his arms around Harrison, pulling the man tightly against him, rubbing their foreheads together as had been done to him earlier, “It hurts. Oh god I know.”

Pressing soft kisses to his forehead Syx asked, “Why did he stop?”

He hadn’t, when it had been him in that state of mind. The only reason he was alive was because Warden found him, laying in his own blood. He’d been so close to death. But there was no way the man in his arms would have survived that fall, blue or not.

dark-blue-mondays:

syx-blue:

Syx swallowed, he was being unreasonable, he knew he was, but that never stopped the feelings, “Yeah…  would have been worse on the streets.”

He’d run way shortly after he’d healed from his injuries. Left the prison and his dad. Most of the time he and Minion had barely had food. They’d nearly died the first winter out on the streets. Michigan was a cruel bitch covered in snow and ice. It would have been no place for a child. It had barely been a place for him.

He shuddered again, his head resting limply on Harrison’s shoulder. He felt like a small child again and just as helpless, “Please… I don’t want to think about it anymore.” 

It was easier to hid away. To try and forget. Not that his mind with it’s perfect recall ever would let him.

Harrison kept right on petting the back of his head.  He could feel the fight go out of the other man, but he was pretty sure that was a good thing.  It couldn’t be healthy to hold onto all that guilt and shame.  Now he was practically limp in his arms and Harrison could feel that the other man was overwhelmed and exhausted.  God knows he had anyone besides Minion to talk to about it, though Harrison guessed based on the reaction that the answer was no.  

“No thinking, check.  How about…. I tell you a story?” he said, not entirely sure of what he was going to say, even as the words started spilling out.      “Once long ago… oh about… five years ago, there was a blue man who looked to the world like he had everything.  He was the powerful CEO of one of the most profitable companies in the world, and had more money than he could spend in a lifetime even though he certainly tried.  He had a devoted Minion, closets full of designer clothes, fancy homes all over the globe, and legions of attractive humans of every gender eager to spend the night with someone so rich and good looking.  But the blue man didn’t let anyone stay more than a few nights.  See, a long time ago, he had loved someone very much….”  

He paused to take a deep breath.   “But that man didn’t love him back.  Not really.  He only wanted control and the blue man almost died because that man didn’t stop when he said no.  So the blue man left him, and lived a life of drinking and partying, taking home anyone he pleased and never calling the next day.   It seemed like he had everything, but he was desperately lonely.”

The way Harrison told the story reminded Syx that the other blue man was a dad. He listened quietly as Harrison spoke, slowly stirring to rub his head against the other man. In many ways he was everything Syx hated. A powerful and rich man with more money then was reasonable. Yet his heart hurt for him. It sounded lonely. Lonelier then Syx’s life even with the long stays in solitary and the hard cruelty of his early years. The Blues were family and good to him.

He didn’t speak, but instead pressed a kiss to Harrison’s neck before lifting his head again enough to put their foreheads together, focusing on love and trust. He’d bared himself to this man and hadn’t been hurt. His arms were a safe place. He hoped Harrison could feel the same.

dark-blue-mondays:

syx-blue:

dark-blue-mondays:

“Oh honey,” Harrison gasped, wrapping his arms around Syx and drawing him into a tight embrace.  He hadn’t heard that particular term in a very very long time, and instantly he knew.  This wasn’t about the egg.  It was about what had created it.  Fuck.  Fuck, fuck, fuck.  

He’d known men like that in his childhood in prison, but he’d been lucky.  If any of those men had so much as looked at him, they got a beat down from one of his prison uncles while the warden looked the other way.  He had access to all sorts of things that were forbidden in gen pop and it hadn’t been hard to sneak the right guy a shiv.  They left him alone after that.  

“Honey, honey, honey,” he said softly, stroking the back of Syx’s head.  He can feel the guilt coming off the other man in waves, but he’s not sure why.  Had Syx killed him for what he’d done?  Harrison was remarkably okay with that.  “Shhh, it’s okay.  It’s not your fault.  You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Yes I did!” Syx hissed back, “I smashed it. My… my egg. I killed it,” that image had haunted him worse then the dead monster. Was the reason more then anything that he’d turned the shiv on himself. His Uncles had found ways to deal with the rapist guard once they’d uncovered who’d caused their precious blue boy so much pain. But the damage had already been done. 

“Oh Syx,” Harrison let out a pained sigh of his name as he continued to hold the other man close.  “Honey.  Listen to me, okay?  You were fifteen years old, living in a prison, and you had just been abused.  If that isn’t a perfect scenario for not having a child, I don’t know what is.”

Syx swallowed, he was being unreasonable, he knew he was, but that never stopped the feelings, “Yeah…  would have been worse on the streets.”

He’d run way shortly after he’d healed from his injuries. Left the prison and his dad. Most of the time he and Minion had barely had food. They’d nearly died the first winter out on the streets. Michigan was a cruel bitch covered in snow and ice. It would have been no place for a child. It had barely been a place for him.

He shuddered again, his head resting limply on Harrison’s shoulder. He felt like a small child again and just as helpless, “Please… I don’t want to think about it anymore.” 

It was easier to hid away. To try and forget. Not that his mind with it’s perfect recall ever would let him.