startersofroleplay:

Skype Call Starters (Compilation)

_{This is a compilation post of this post and this post, in this format rather than in chat format.}

• “A dog is more articulate than that sentence.”
  
• “And today and three thirty in the morning, we ask ourselves, what is a pea?”
  
• “Bacon is a god send.”
  
• “Calm your tit windows bros!”
  
• “Can I have a small atomic bomb?”
  
• “Cigarette cancer.”
  
• “Come eat my soul, please, for the love of god.”
  
• “Did that just say babysit the bird?”
  
• “Did you SERIOUSLY just word it like that?”
  
• “Did you just get swallowed by another dimension, what the fuck?”
  

• “eASY.”

• “geT OFF MY DS.”

• “Goodbye. It’s coming after my soul.”
  
• “HA. I’VE GOT YOU NOW. FUCK YOU!”
  
• “He lives to see another day, I guess.”
  
• “He spoke Spench. A mix between Spanish and French.”
  
• “Honey if your vagina’s a taco you need to go to the hospital.”
  
• “I BURPED HOLY SHIT.”
  
• “I can do it after I’m done killing people!”
  
• “I don’t wanna fuckin’ do this, man.”
  
• “I need to tell the secetary that I’m speaking Spench today because I can’t join the MMMM.”
  
• “I never understood deez nuts.”
  
• “I went clothes shopping and then the cops.”
  
• “I’m gonna do what I do best and fuck off into the mountains.”
  
• “If I get another one of these from a legendary gun I’m going out and killing someone for real.”
  
• “If you’re gonna be awake and bitching you might as well do something useful.”
  
• “It’s like a bird and a siren had a baby.”
  
• “It’s not what I would consider a mistake, but it’s not cute.”
  
• “MISSLE.”
  
• “My boyfriend dumped me I’m gonna nuke Japan.”
  
• “No one gives a shit.”
  
• “Nuclear explosion. Suddenly: Aurora Borealis!”
  
• “Oh my god this is the ugliest thing. I’m wearing it.”
  
• “Oooh this is bad I’m standing on a roll-y chair.”
  
• “Oooh, I hit you hard, didn’t I?”
  
• “Rub your own toe!”
  
• “Satan had enough screaming for one day.”
  
• “Satan is back in the household.”
  
• “Satan left.”
  
• “Shut up about tastebuds you burned those off!”
  
• “Speaking of Irish–”
  
• “That guy who faked his death didn’t die.”
  
• “That’s a volleyball you uncultured swine.”
  
• “The Americans don’t exist any more.”
  

• “theRE YOU ARE, YOU MOTHERFUCKER.”

• “These cats just turned into noodles.”
  
• “This little bitch in pre-school–”
  
• “This little fucker is eluding me.”
  
• “UH YOU’RE FLOATING.”
  
• “Wanna eat a bug?”
  
• “We all need our ass kicked once in a while.”
  
• “We don’t care about a pig’s ass!”
  
• “What’s up sluts, guess who just got out of Hoenn?”
  
• “Why have Obamacare when you can have Obama Hair?”
  
• “Yay we won guess who did all the work. Me. I did.”
  
• “Yeah I’m evaporating.”
  
• “You just cannot talk, can you?”
  
• “You will not be flipping people off while we do explicit things.”
  
• “You’ve all heard of the birds and the bees, but have you heard of the birds and the babies?”