more out of context sentence starters.

musingsiren:

of course feel free to change pronouns as necessary. and yes, these are actual things i have heard / said

• “Your 2 year old kid is tanner than me”
  
• “YEAH!! FUCK THE CORPORATION!! STICK IT TO THE MAN!! DONT LET YOURSELF BE TETHERED BY THE CHAINS OF CAPITALISM ANY MORE!!“ 
  
• “Are you rapping in French?!”
  
• “Don’t tell dad I just did that.”
  
• *gives you puppy eyes while holding a mango*
  
• “I hat him so much. LOOK, that’s how much I hate that character, I can’t even type right.”
  
• “ACCEPT MY AFFECTION YOU ASSHOLE”
  
• “I liked making jokes about being a corporate sell out.”
  
• “Generally people say ‘bless you’ when I sneeze but, sure, ‘ew’ works too”
  
• “You think this is a game, mom?”
  
• “Wow, you have surprisingly good hand writing”
  
• “It’s bad man… I have a pair of socks that remind me of him.”
  
• “I’m getting a headache and that’s not good”
  
• “If I hear the name Kardashian one more time I’m going to flip my shit”
  
• “Is the tea okay??”
  
• “Get in the bush”
  
• “[name], do NOT dance”
  
• (Sadly) “he’s a waffle”
  
• “I will never die. I AM DEATH”
  
• “[name]’s in a permanent mid-life crisis”
  
• “Oh god, it depresses me when people eat pizza with a fork and knife.”
  
• “I just quacked at them loudly" 
  
• “No, you should take the last one”
  
• “Fuck you and your goldfish" 
  
• “To tall people we short ones still look human so we are probably creepy fetuses crawling amongst them while they scream ‘’ANOTHER ESCAPED THE WOMB’ "